Ladies, you still picking douche bags to fall in love with?  Do you know why? 


sms-3917You are supposed to be picking your prince, the best bull from the herd.  Instead you girls just keep on picking toads and douche-bags to fall in love with.  They always break your heart and steal your shit.  But you keep picking them.

Why do women pick a cow instead of a bull?  It’s a simple lack of training (yes there is a class).  You ladies know you’re supposed to pick a prince to marry, but most of you end up settling for a candy-ass bitch.

Don’t shy away from the title ladies—you need some Man Hunter training (yes again, there is a class) to teach you how to sort through the herd more thoroughly for the very best bull.   You will also learn how sex is used (99% foreplay only) like a fishing lure.

Speaking of sex, did you know that biologically, mating is the pairing of the opposite sex for copulation, impregnation, and production of offspring?

Most humans call it sleeping together, making love, or fucking.

Did you know that female humans are the only species on the planet “in heat” year round? Unlike (monkey) primates, who mate seasonally within their troop a few times a year, we male humans can impregnate our females any time they want.

The libidos of (monkey) primate males “turn on and off” with the female’s cycle.  Because human females have no mating season, the human male, our libidos are “on” all the time, cocked and locked 24/7, ready to fulfill our male biological mating mission—slam, bam, and thank you ma’am. Next!

For human males, it is all about the numbers, biologically speaking.  Males constantly hunt for females to mate with because our mission is to “dispense” (read “bust a nut”) several times a day, to multiple females, every day of the year. This intense libido we men have—our addictive craving to get laid, it can drive us to mate with anything that moves—overwhelming an untrained and undisciplined adolescent male brain.

For even the most mature and self-disciplined Man, it takes will power and a robust horniness management program to control ourselves.  It’s just a matter of getting a grip on it before it gets out of hand (courtesy laugh for two double entendres in one sentence please).

Female humans, your biological mating mission is all about offspring, to produce beautiful and healthy children. To accomplish her mission, she must, “cut from the herd,” the biggest, handsomest, nicest, smartest, most loving and wealthiest male she can find, to fall in love with, to marry, to impregnate her, and to be there as her loving and faithful Husband and patient and caring Father of her children.


OK ladies, I am sorry I yelled. I just want you to be happy.

Anyway, this conflict in gender mating biology contributes to you picking douche bags.  All guys want all the women, while all girls want the one, the very best male. Women have to kiss (and probably screw) a lot of douche-bags to find their prince, that one perfect Man.  Why?

First, there are not that many fully trained good Men in the herd (I am working to train more).  Most males in a herd that you will come in contact when they hit on you are bitches.  The second reason you pick badly is because females make their mate selection by 99% emotion and 1% logic. It’s an emotional train wreck for you ladies nearly every time because you don’t know how to spot a prince in the herd of toads.  That can change with training (I did say there was a class).

Maybe it not 99%.  Maybe you use only 90% emotional selection and 10% logical.  Here is what one wonderful lady (Jackie) told me how girls pick a guy.

1.  “First I meet this guy. He seems to be a keeper. He is big, strong, charming, and handsome. He makes me laugh and feel good. I’m thinking that I hope I don’t fall in love with him too fast.”

2.  “Then, I realize, oh shoot, too late, I love him.”

3.  “But, wait, he is turning out to be a bastard who takes my money, cheats on me, and makes me cry a lot.”

4.  “No problem, I can fix him like Mom fixed Dad. We women have been training our men for decades.”

5.  “Oh man, I give up. I really can’t fix him.”

6.  “Now, my heart is broken and I have to leave him, the man I fell in love with. Damn!”

7.  “Next, I go back to step 1 and repeat with the next guy I fall in love with. Once I get my heart broken a few more times, I will slip into my emotionally dark place, to become a jealous, unloved, man-hating, lesbian, psycho bitch!”

OK, if I would to turn Jackie’s comments into a PowerPoint slide for training boys on courtship, it would read  more like this.


1.  See bad boy. She thinks he is handsome, charming, and funny.

2.  Pick bad boy. Reasons listed in step 1.

3.  Fall in love with bad boy.

4.  Realize bad boy is a bastard.douchebag-11

5.  Attempt to “fix” bad boy.

6.  Can’t fix; dump bad boy.

7.  Begin weeping, sobbing, and blubbering while eating chunky monkey ice cream.

8.  Become gloomy, dejected, disappointed, and miserable.

9.  Recover emotionally just enough to stupidly repeat step 1.

10.  Continue repeating bad boy selection process until the loss of all self-esteem, guilt, failure, and depression causes her to change from a beautiful, intelligent, and happy Woman, to a man-hating, unloved, psycho lesbian, with a chunky monkey addiction.


So now you know why you pick douche-bags.  There are too many toads out there begging you for booty, and you make your choice by emotion over any logic.  It’s OK.  There is a simple fix.  With a little training you will find love and marriage to be more fun with a prince, hung like a bull instead of a toad.

What is this Man Hunter training you ask?  I will tell you soon.


Men, It’s OK to be an Asshole Sometimes



You tired of being labeled an asshole when all you are trying to do is handle your duties as a man, an adult, citizen, husband, and father?

Me to.  I am fed up with feeling like I fucked- up when someone calls me an Asshole.  Now I know that in the course of handling my duties and responsibilities as a man, some humans, including family, friends, colleagues, and co-workers may judge me to be an asshole just for accomplishing my manly duties.  Humans can be so judgmental.  And the basic definition of asshole is, “An irritating or contemptible person.”  Hell, my wife can be annoyed with me before I come home from work.  I’m an asshole before I hit the front door.  Well I am tired of feeling embarrassed.  I want it to be socially acceptable.  Sometimes, in the course of being a man, its OK to be called an Asshole.

You Men know that I am talking about.  You get called an Asshole too.  And you feel disrespected and embarrassed because all you were doing is taking care of your responsibilities as a Man.

To tell you the truth, I never thought myself an Asshole.  But in my research on “Assholeology” I found two distinct types of asshole:  “Big Assholes,” and “Little Assholes.”   I ignorantly assumed all men are Big Assholes. But only about 2% of all assholes  possess the fucked up personality to be Big Asshole.  The rest of us can be, but not all the time, Little Assholes.

Assole part of my essence


A Big Assholes are evil, cruel, bullies.  They are narcissistic, back-stabbing sociopaths who are rude, selfish, oppressive, uncivil, mean-spirited, and really enjoy fucking over other people for the pure pleasure of it.   



A Little Asshole is a man who is basically a hard working good guy.  Who, from time to time, is judged to be an asshole (like my wife does me sometimes).  A Little Asshole is like being the Hulk.  Most time we men are like mild mannered Bruce Banner.  But sometimes in the course of ding our duty as men, we “hulk up” and get called asshole by others.  Then it goes away again.  I consider myself an eccentric.   Maybe unconventional.  So yes, I confess that some humans find me annoying, thus an Asshole. I do have a big mouth.  I talk a lot. I am loud (from so many years in the military barking orders).  My voice can dominate a room.  I can be over-bearing and controlling (a side effect of military service I theorize).     I speak with such self-confidence; others judge me to be arrogant.  No wonder so many people think I am an Asshole.


“If you run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole. If you run into assholes all day, you’re the asshole.” -Raylan Givens, Justified


Because to be judged an asshole one has to be merely irritating.  Humans are quick to judge who is, and who is not an asshole.  From studying highly judgmental people, I discovered a psycho-biological defect in the human “friend or foe” response.  As a safety mechanism, all Homo sapiens scan other humans around us into make a quick threat assessment.

“Friend” is OK.  “Foe,” I would have to draw my sword.

That screening behavior is necessary to survive a combat zone, dangerous urban neighborhoods, and any other place human wolves are present.  Most Homo sapiens, their “friend or foe” radar is turned up too high.   Both genders are equally too quick to negatively judge and label humans they come in contact with; swiftly presuming the human scanned is “irritating,” therefore an Asshole.

My mother-in-law, her Asshole detection radar was turned up all the way. She said, “I don’t even have to talk to him.  He does not have to say a word.  I can just look at him (finger snap) and spot an Asshole just like that.” 
Female asshole get treated better.  It’s our custom to call a Man an Asshole, and make him feel bad for being one.    A woman, we call her a Bitch.  Of course there are gender variations in the definition of Bitch.  As I said, a Woman who is called a Bitch, she is actually an Asshole.  A male who is called a Bitch, he is actually a Pussy.  In actual fact, a Bitch is lower than a Pussy on the Man-O-Meter. That’s for another blog.



Anyway, I am digressing.  Women have taken ownership of the word—Bitch.  Calling her a Bitch  used to be an insult to most Women.  On the contrary, over the last decade or so, Women are feeling empowered when called a Bitch.  It means she is recognized for handling her business, all of her responsibilities as an Adult, Citizen, Wife, and Mother. To her, being called a Bitch means she is a woman of character, possessed with tenacity, courage, resilience, motivation, and leadership.

i-m-not-a-bitch-i-m-the-bitch-and-to-you-i-m-ms-bitch-1My wife has a T-Shirt she wears when we ride my Harley—

“I am Not a Bitch.  I am THE Bitch.  And it’s Miss Bitch to you … Motherfucker.”

It’s time we Men step up and own Asshole.Gentlemen, we have to change the rules. asshole2


It is OK to be called an Asshole.



If it is OK for a Woman to be a Bitch, with a sense of pride about the title, I want it to be OK to be an Asshole.

I told you, there are a few males who love being a Big  Asshole.    Then there are the rest of us, millions of Men, the Little Assholes, taking care of their business, handling all of their duties and responsibilities as Adults, Citizens, Husbands, and Fathers.  In the course of handling our business, we are going to be irritate some to some.

I have been called an Asshole by Wives, kids, co-workers, even friends and acquaintances.  They find me irritating at times.  OK,  I can live with that.

Men, we work our asses off to live our lives as good Men.  We take care of our responsibilities.  We try to find joy in our lives for ourselves, and we try to bring joy to others.   We must acknowledge the time tested axiom: you can’t make everyone happy all the time; you will go insane.


It is beyond your control.  Unless you live in a cave on a faraway planet, you will piss off “somebody.”  And that “somebody” will find you to be irritating annoying.  And BINGO! You’re an Asshole.


Accept that we Men are going to be called an Asshole from time to time.


Men, it’s OK to be called an Asshole sometimes. 





Men, we Assholes need to stick together.  Write to me.  Send me your comments.  Tell me your experiences being called an Asshole.

Pussification Syndrome

Pussification Unc Sam


What is Pussification Syndrome?  



It’s a disease that infects nearly all young adult human males.  It stops them from achieving manhood and becoming men.  Therefore, if a guy is not a Man, he is a pussy.

Hence the name—Pussification Syndrome.

The symptoms of a severe Pussification Syndrome infection, the disease induces males—well into their 30s—to display behavior that is dishonorable, cowardly, spineless, lazy, whiny, or simply unbecoming a man.

My hypotheses as to the root cause of Pussification Syndrome is the predominating philosophy and influential lifestyle of my generation—the “hippy baby boomers.”  The first strains of this horrendous virus was cultivated as we boomers came into parenthood.


Our mantra was “sex, drugs, and roll and roll.” It was a “far out” and “groovy” time to “tune in, turn on, and drop out, man.”

We spent days trippin without a care in the world.  Just getting stoned, listening to Pink Floyd, The Grateful Dead, and Jimi Hendrix. We believed “never trust anyone over 30,” and don’t be a slave doing “the man’s” work. We had no need to learn a work ethic anymore because we had “free love” and “spare change.”

We invented welfare, food stamps, and the projects.

The hippy boomer generation was the first to excessively spoil their children, relating to them as cool friends rather than parents preparing their offspring to be happy, successful adults.

I am a boomer. Our primary method of child rearing was “no rules.”  Kids need the freedom to discover the world and the cosmos themselves.  They must be free spirits, learning about life by trial and error.   This philosophy was so engrained that some children of hippy parents were named, “Free” and “Spirit.”

In the 60s and 70s, it was the first time spanking and other forms of corporal punishment were considered a social taboo. Compounding the problem, boomer children, now parents, continue to perpetuate and exacerbate the problem by infecting the newest generation of young male adults with Pussification Syndrome. This new 2nd generation hippy parent blindly gratifies their children’s every little whim, denying the little brats nothing.

Sci-Fi Author Robert Heinlein said it best:

“Don’t handicap your children by making their lives too easy.”Pussication

Too late. Our newest adults struggle and many fail to achieve successful adulthood.


The Pussification Syndrome epidemic, translates into a weaker, more dysfunctional, and less homogeneous society.

Don’t believe me that manhood is declining? Answer this question:

  1. What percent of American, middle-class, 18 year old males,
  2. are fully prepared to leave the nest and step out on their own,
  3. as mature, responsible adults,
  4. with a clear plan of action,
  5. for the first four to eight years of their adult lives?

I have asked several hundred adults that question. Their reply—less than 5%.

Only 5 out of a 100 18 year old males are ready to step into society as mature & responsible adults.  How fucked up is that?

While there is no hard science to support what looks like a trend to me, how did over 95% of the Adults I interviewed give me the same answer—less than 5%? I can only say that they knowingly or subconsciously realize the Pussification Syndrome plague is that bad, that the maturity level of our youngest adults is awful and worrisome.

What’s the cure?  Training.  See my next blog.